-: :-A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y-: :-

SAJA and babies and i'm elderly, oh my...

Turbanhead: hey- is the SM crew gonna be in full effect at the SAJA event in march?

A N N A: me + manish...not sure who else

A N N A: you gonna be there?!

Turbanhead: i'm checking my "schedule" ;-)

A N N A: awesome

A N N A: if i get to meet TFC, i'll faint like a proper over-zealous fan

Turbanhead: :-D

Turbanhead: actually , if  i attend - it will be just me

A N N A: cry, ask for his autograph via sharpie

A N N A: get a tattoo over it to preserve it forever

A N N A: i know, i'm kidding ;-)

round two...FIGHT!

would you like some mindless entertainment to go with your kappi this morn?  peep googlefight.  you can submit any two keywords and then watch them "battle" it out for G-supremacy.  it's awesome.  go on, get yourself some affirmation, like i did.  :D 

LIVE Oscar blogging - the wisual edition!

Halle looks AWESOME-- perfect hair, lovely-coloured dress, lovely dress, period.

Best Dress Silhouette-  Renee Zellweger.  standing at the mike, with the bottom of her dress flaring so fabulously, she looked like one of those dolls that people collect...

are the girls they use as human "canes" (to snag people and drag them offstage) all 7' tall??

Drew looks fine, but older somehow.  it's jarring when she opens her mouth and her girly voice escapes.

Beyonce (song #1) has too much bling on-- the giant brooch on her dress is fine, it makes it more glam, but the dangling earrings AND the "dangling" bracelet are too much.  maybe it's also the amazing citrine eye-makeup; seeing it next to giant bauble-gems looks cluttered and amateurish.  something shiny from harry that sat on her ear unobtrusively  would've been better, IMO.

i don't like scarlet johansson in black, but i love that she's wearing red lipstick and jewels in her upswept hair. 

also, the dickhead in charge of the show, who decided to herd "lesser" oscar nominees on stage/in a balcony, to make it all go faster?  lame.  disrespectful.  the oscars deserved more.  we all did.

needlessly spurned, lesson re-learned, this just burned

1. a nervous tic motion of the head to the left - andrew bird
2. it's for you - out hud
3. penny look down - decibully
4. china - red rockers (thanks ankz)
5. spanish teeth - robbers on high street
6. list of demands - saul williams
7. princeton junction - the natural history
8. sunday bell - audible
9. tidal wave - clap your hands say yeah
10. woman king - iron & wine
11. kanon - enon
12. tell it to the dust - anders parker
13. belle of the woodsman's autumn ball - skygreen leopards
14. lua - bright eyes
15. baba - bunky
16. california - low
17. call to love - crooked fingers
18. drop it like it's huey - compact risk
19. goodnight - hot hot heat
20. granddaddy - patterson hood

didn't realise the Fster expiration date on my ass was showing

since this anonymous soul was kind enough to pity 30-year old me after diagnosing me with an addiction to friendster (hey dr. anonymous, what DID you get on your MCAT, btw?)  i wonder if they'd be charitable enough to also pity this guy. 

you see, alok is ALSO 30 (not to mention married + a new daddy)...and get this-- he ALSO wrote a post about Fster, even though he's too ooold to be on there.  you can find his pity-worthy piece over on his new group blog "Blunt Instrument".

what's that you say?  that blog sounds familiar?  'course it does.  "Blunt Instrument" was originally SJM's blog; now he's playing nice and sharing it with his two soulmates, alok and ankur.  (p.s. no word yet on what this means for ankur's typepad blog...that's a point of information for me and his other two readers.)

anyway, since our busybody doctor was so concerned about me, i thought i'd send them another patient to advise.  one caveat:  have some of your surgeon-friends at the ready.  i'm a hissing little kitten compared to Alok et al.  they'll flay you, salt you and THEN flame you. 

so have at it!  i can't WAIT.  bitch.

i don't know whatcha heard about ME

...suddenly i'm a P-I-M-P?  seriously, i can't make this shit up:

From: raam h <honeybee_007@breakthru.com>

To: suitblegrl@gmail.com

Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 11:40:43 UT

Subject: any slim & sexy girls r there in bangalore

Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to contacts list | Trash this message | Report phishing | Show original

     hi
     i am looking for slim fair & sexy girls for haveing fun. 
     i am in bangalore. so i req bangaloren.  if is there mail me with details.

       1.rate?
       2.where i have to contact
__________________________________________
BreakThru.com - Pure email. Zero spam.

http://friendfinder.com - Dating Personals and Social Networking
http://quizhappy.com - Ph.D certified tests and quizzes
http://dine.com - Restaurant Reviews in your area

:+:

i'm waiting for "jiminy cricket" to tell me to change his email addy or otherwise obscure it...but i don't know...do whoremongers deserve such courtesies?  ;)

fisking friendster: i'm sure that there will be more, once my head stops exploding

1. people who write "omg, i'm SUCH a bookworm...LOL" after listing two, count 'em, TWO titles under fave books.  you're a bibliophile who hates the majority of the tomes you've wormed through?  wha-?



2. right.  anyone who uses "LOL" mindlessly.  you laughed out loud while typing that you like bhangra?  why is that fact suffused with hilarity which splits your sides?  LOL?  would a smiling emoticon suffice?  please?



3. why must all testimonials commence with "what can i say about..."?  wtf?  i'll tell you what you can say, you can say whatever the bleeding hell you want without prefacing it with that quivering, doubt-tinged, rhetorical torture-device of ability-introspecting.  i think indians, especially mallus are ESPECIALLY guilty of this egregious crime against testimony.  prove me wrong on that one and i'll be grateful, not snarky. 
   
   in other news, if anyone commences a testimonial for me in that manner (with the exception of if it's done ironically), not only will their testimonial NOT be approved, they will be summarily deleted from my friend list.  thems the breaks, bitches.



4. though it doesn't vex me as much as what's above, commencing testimonials with "where do i start?" is also pointless and laaaaaaame.  don't. ask. just. start. 



5. stop using the word "fashionista".  it's almost like the word "classy", if you actually had to use it, you just negated it.

best. sports. article. EVER.

Q: I know it's only halfway through the second season, but has the time come to seriously compare "The OC" with the grandaddy of the genre, "Beverly Hills: 90210"?
-- Michael Tedesco, Hopewell, NJ

You're right, it's time. Let's break this baby down, Dr. Jack-style. To keep things fair, I'm only comparing "The OC" to the first two seasons of "90210."

Premise: "90210" revolved around two twins from Minnesota moving to Beverly Hills and dealing with rich people. "The OC" had a troubled kid from Encino moving to Orange County and dealing with rich people. The lesson, as always: You're probably going to have a hit show if an outsider is dealing with rich people. "The OC" pilot was better -- actually, it was probably the best episode in the history of the show -- but "90210" gets points for originality. Too tough to call.
EDGE: EVEN.

Stars: Brandon Walsh could have been a pretty corny part in the wrong hands, especially when the pilot had him turning down the advances from a smoking-hot chick in a hot tub, or the episode when Emily Valentine slipped him an ecstacy pill and he reacted like she had infected him with an AIDS-infected needle. It was also confusing how the writers made him the moral conscience of the show, then gave him a gambling problem out of nowhere, or had him smash up his car in a DWI accident. But Jason Priestley handled all of these things, became a pretty big star, helped launch the remarkably bizarre sideburns trend, hosted an "SNL" episode and breathed life into lines like "You sure you should be driving?" and "You OK?" Good actor, great part. He was the rock of the show -- we even forgave him after he broke the Code of Guys and started dating his best friend's girlfriend.

Meanwhile, if it wasn't for Marissa, Ryan would have been the weak link of "The OC" -- he was very good in the first few episodes, before the whole "he's a brooding outsider with a hair-trigger temper who means well" act wore thin because they ordered too many episodes at once. By the end of the season, Ben McKenzie (who plays Ryan) was stuck doing Jay Mohr's eyeball rolling, "I love her man!" impersonation of Andrew McCarthy, only he wasn't kidding. So they preppied him up in Season 2, gave him a self-deprecating sense of humor and a broader personality, and now he's an absolute mess -- to the point that they're starting to steer the show around Seth. What happened to the guy who wore leather jackets and white T-shirts and couldn't express himself? Now he's whipping out one-liners like Yakov Smirnoff. I'm confused.
MAJOR EDGE: 90210.

Breakout Sidekick: I'm already on record as saying that the guy who plays Seth (Adam Brody) has the best chance of anyone to become the next Tom Hanks ... and yet, I'm not sure Seth could carry his own show. He's a little too manic. Dylan McKay? He could have carried his own show. And then some. I'm just saying.
EDGE: 90210.

Babes: Tough category for "90210" -- there were only four girls on the show, and two of them were Tori Spelling and Gabrielle Carteris. Ouch. I liked Jennie Garth, and her Kelly Taylor character clearly foreshadowed every loathsome character we would see 14 years later on "My Super Sweet 16," but she wasn't prettier than anyone on "The OC" (except for maybe Ryan's new girlfriend). And Shannen Doherty was too wholesome and crazy-looking during those first two seasons, although maybe she had to be.

As for "The OC" ... good golly. It's a murderer's row. You could make the case that Alex (Marissa's new girlfriend) and Summer (played by Rachel Bilson) are two of the hottest characters in the history of televsion -- that's right, I said it -- with Marissa right behind them, as well as Julie Cooper and Seth's mom making the Meredith Baxter-Birney Hall of Fame for smoking-hot TV moms. Say what you want about Josh Schwartz (the creator of "The OC"), but the man clearly knows what he's doing.
MAJOR EDGE: The OC.

Parents: I liked the Walshes, but the Cohens serve the Brandon Walsh role for "The OC" -- in other words, they're the collective rock of the show, which made it so infuriating when they introduced the recent storyline where Sandy Cohen struggles with unresolved feelings for an old flame (played by a Botoxed-out Kim Delaney). Too out-of-character for him. Anyway, I can't ever imagine the Cohens getting slowly phased out of the show like the Walshes did, or getting transferred to Hong Kong and knocked off the show. Wouldn't happen. Only one thing saves this from being a complete landslide: The opening credits of "90210", when James Eckhouse (as Mr. Walsh) would proudly turn around with his arms folded over his chest, followed by the "that's right, I'm Mr. F-ing Walsh!" smile. That always killed me.
EDGE: The OC.   

how do you spell r-e-l-a-x

BACKSTORY:  here

:+:

Of course, your blog...your prerogative.

i wish everyone were as enlightened as that. thank you.

I just wonder why you pull up past comments when you get some "constructive" criticism.

because a lot of "criticism" comes from psychotards, near-stalkers, and other unsavoury types-- the sort who hacked my email account, destroyed my last relationship and sent my medical records about, etc. i use typepad for a plethora of reasons; one of the greatest is its ease. the second i get a comment, i get an email, within that email, i find your IP. simple.

i read someone's past comments for CONTEXT. most people are consistent, but some weirdos tell me they want to cum on my tits six months before they exhort me to seek religion with them...that kind of thing.

Sorry, apparently I missed the discussions on your mispellings.

look, i'm not an asshole (not today at least-- check with me in two weeks). i'm not delusional enough to presume that everyone memorizes every word here.   i do know that the majority of people who read this site know me, and thus find it a relevant read.  they are all aware of how and why i word the way i do.

i think it's reasonable for a lurker to notice that i spell things with "s" vs. "z" or "ou" vs. "o". if you were curious, you could've done what others have, and just ask. i'm human, just like you. i don't like making mistakes and i enjoy being publicly called out on them even less...especially when i didn't err in the first place.

I brace myself for the haters....

i wouldn't. the haters hate ME. the people YOU are worried about are lovers. and by definition, i'm fairly certain they have other things to do.

true quote from amreekan idol

"i'm so discumbobalated*.   i don't know if that's a real word, but tha's what i am."

dearest lord.  why have you allowed unnecessary fertility on your creation? 

look!  look what has happened!  gah!

*her pronunciation

.february 15

today i:

-found out that homo-phobe alan keyes has a lesbian daughter who is also somewhat liberal.  oh joy.  oh hilarious karma.  oh glee.  people who live in glass houses should get to know their OWN daughters.

-had an asthma attack from a dust storm (of sorts).  sigh.

-spent my lunch buying new black boots at nordstrom.  didn't cheer me up, though.  (danger, will robinson!)

-made quesadillas in my awe-inspiring new quesadilla/panini/wafflemaker...yummmmm.

-got my first pedicure in FIVE MONTHS.  got my first regular manicure, too.  yay for primping.  now THAT cheered me.

-got mad that people hurt animals before they sell them for research purposes, that they have "class D" licenses to do it, that they get these animals by stealing them out of people's yards...oh darling Rani, i shall give you the biggest hug EVER when i get home.  don't ever stray when monsters like this are loose.  :(

-randomly ate 2.5 kiwis and a quivering, shivering square of lemon jello (woo-hoo korean delis!)

-renewed my awe at G-d's unbelievable miracles

-realised that i've come a long way, baby.  :)

anyone want to shame spiral with me? no? thanks for nothing.

though i'm usually fairly anti- this holiday, my cold black heart showed signs of life this afternoon when a secret admirer shocked me and amused my entire department by sending me the most luscious roses ever...

those roses, which i can smell from four feet away, in turn caused me to feel all sweet and loving, hence the post below about my baby cousin at ucla.

i should have just left it at that-- good feelings, sweet memories of fat-cheeked baby boys toddling up to give me hugs, a pleasant sort of holiday... but nooooo, i can't be THAT logical and intelligent, can i?

(that was a rhetorical question, haters.)

so.

since i couldn't upload a very cute valentine on useless fotolog, inspiration struck and in response, i should have backhanded it.  gah. 

i sent my three fave valentines from the very talented jason to...oh, SEVENTY people i know.  except...when you "save as" from jason's awesome site, you just get the graphic, not the TEXT which consummates the entire sentiment. 

why didn't i test it out first?  you know, when you assume, you make an ASS out of you and not me-- i DID do a test-send.  except what i "tested" was the file that would end up being the middle valentine of the three, i.e. the ONLY one that turned out properly, with the accompanying text.  "the system works," i stupidly thought.

based on THAT misleading conclusion, i got carried away and impulsively, whimsically attached two other files/valentines.  two others WITHOUT ANY TEXT to explain their random weirdness and my apparent lunacy.

yes. 

exactly. 

are you warming your frosty hands at the fire emanating from my burning face?  good, glad i could help you out, you schadenfreude-spewing troll.

M-O-R-T-I-F-I-E-D, thy definition is me.

i should have sent them THIS:

 

t'would have explained EVERYTHING.

*whimper*

love (is) actually (all around us).

there are only four things that make me regret moving towards the right.  one of those things is to the left.

i miss you booboo.  i heart you, too.

you're my walentine for the second year in a row, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

love and snakes forever,

AnnAkka

february 13

last thing i ate:  red-icing-laden valentine's day cupcake, w/sprinkles

now blaring:  "dig for fire" by the PIXIES

:+:

i'm irritated at the morons who are denying me my flog.  grrr.

:+:

from the old grey lady:

"So far, only the most health conscious consumers are shopping to avoid trans fat. But food companies are betting that will change when the labeling law takes effect, and they have already spent tens of millions of dollars trying to get rid of trans fat without changing the taste of America's favorite processed and fast foods.

...At least 30,000 and as many as 100,000 cardiac deaths a year in the United States could be prevented if people replaced trans fat with healthier nonhydrogenated polyunsaturated or monounsaturated oils, according to a 1999 joint report by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health and the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston."

uh...i guess i'm excessively health conscious, then.  i totally scrutinize for trans-fat content.  i'm blown away by the "death" statistic.  what a stupid reason to die.  die b/c you totaled your porsche, not b/c you couldn't live without the partially hydrogenated, toxic goo in your oreos or donuts.  blech.

FYI- Fotolog hacked?

Let me perpetuate potential rumours for a minute:

"Fotolog admins have already said on thse message boards that they credit paying Gold Cam members when they experience loss of service. Right now it seems the site is recovering from some malicous geek who hacked and stopped the site this morning. Hope your Flog gets rolling soon."

wait, here's more:

Fotolog is being DDoSed ! Thats the true !!!!!

---

Hi,
I´m one of th(0s)e responsibles for the fotolog outages occoured at 09/02/2005 , at about 02:00 AM in that day we start an DDoS on fotolog NS servers aka dns1.fotolog.net and dns2.fotolog.net .. they got down ... we sent u an email tolding what we want ...

were gonna tell u again

we want /_fleur /luxurychick and /cristinamachado banned from fotolog forever

Now we re attacking again , but now its your site ... if u dont follow our exigences .. the attack will get bigger ... our country dont have cyberlaws .. dont mess with us ...we have a big floodnet ...

the attack will stop as soons as the...fotologs are desactivated

again .. we dont want your money .. we just want that ....

would ya looky here...i found even MORE:

If u ban those three ppl

/_fleur_
/luxurychick
/cristinamachado

the attacks will stop ...

well , i dont have a fotolog since those @#%$ admins banned it .. now i wanna revange ... if fotolog doesnt ban those members .. i will destroy them alll ....

:+:

international retards.  sigh.

february 8

i'm getting better, if only because all of you have affected me with your concern and good wishes.  it's a delightful way to feel, especially when compared to my usual wheezing, soreness, disassociative chilled/feverish state...thank you.  :)

i felt well enough to go to work today, but once there i trudged around and cringed and coughed a lot.  appetizing!

anyway, it's 1am and i need to go to bed.  i got a lot of errands done this evening, after taking care of my poor roomie (who is now sick-- what a shocker!).  alas, i didn't get to write the blog post of vengeance that i so want to...even as i found three articles and a music video that fueled my fire.   haven't posted on SM recently, either.  sigh.   my fears have come true; working full-time makes me much less of a writer.  :( 

i'll leave you with random notes i took while watching our girl on letterman.  i was blogging aishwarya's appearance in real time, so enjoy.

aish is holding her own.  she's made him squirm once or twice-- well played. 

ooooh, here comes the clip of "Bride and Prejudice"...ah, they picked a much-cited snippet...sadly, i can see where my friend's criticisms are applicable, even though i've seen less than 200 seconds...

letterman's stumbling like elmer fudd.

she's delightful-- just snarky enough. when he tries to carry her for being an "older child" living at home with her family, she retorts, "we don't have to make appointments to have dinner with our parents". 

oh, i'm not doing the moment justice.  slightly flustered, he turns to the audience and transforms the moment through quick thinking; "i think we've all learned something here."

she looks beautiful, though i'm not crazy about her outfit.

all in all, ten times better than her shrill discomfort on her 60 minutes appearance...

anyone else see it?

february 7 (the wahhh edition)

i feel miserable because:

- bronchitis became pneumonia

- i haven't fulfilled my evolutionary purpose for this month, and it hurts

- i didn't get to see MIA with manish in new york this weekend

- i haven't been well enough to blog a follow-up to the hot97 fiasco, when i desperately want to, and people are asking me, "wtf?"

- i can't breathe without the assistance of two different inhalers

- i have to clean everything to flawless-levels by friday, on no energy

- i'm a consummate space cadet from weeks of drugs, some of which i'm allergic to (# $?%& cipro!)

- i can't sleep

- all of the damned above.

p.s. did i mention that missing work today makes me even more stressed?  :(

spot on.

the terrifyingly brilliant PG did this first.  just so you know.

You Are 23 Years Old

23 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

there's no such thing as a free lunch

i'm putting this up because i know several of you use this ofoto contraption.  i'd want to know if fotolog or typepad were similarly written up in the press, so i thought i'd do unto others...

NOTE: i'd just like to clarify that i don't think any of YOU are as dumb as this woman, so if you are going to get all huffy, get mad at me for a good reason and not because you misunderstood my gentle, sarcastic caveat of a post. i mean, it's really more of a shameless paste from here, but who's counting?  ;) 

:+:

Jacqui Flugger, who no longer has photos of her wedding, photos of her vacations or photos of her Christmas parties, has learned two important things about life:

1. Always read the fine print.

2. Don't forget to update your e-mail address.

Flugger, 37, signed up about four years ago with Emeryville's Ofoto, a digital photo-processing service that allows people to store their pictures online.

Ofoto, which was acquired by Kodak in 2001, is a leader in online photo storage, maintaining about 500 million images for its roughly 20 million members.

For her part, Flugger filled 36 online albums with hundreds of shots from her wedding and other experiences. Keeping her pictures online, she found, was a great way to share them with others, and it didn't cost her a thing.

Or so she thought. 

A couple of weeks ago, Flugger logged on to Ofoto and discovered that all her albums had been deleted. Gone. History.

who else misses xtc?

Dear G-d,

thank you so much for protecting my new coach purse that was chock full of pretty new 20s and platinum, not to mention one of the better driver's license pics of all time (so sayeth all the bouncers and bartenders...er...i mean...HR).

truly, i must be sicker than sick if i left it on my monitor before going home yesterday. we won't revisit how hanging it there in the first place was implemented as a method for preventing this exact cluster----, and i thank you for THAT generosity of omission as well.

i remember how insane i was this morning when i made myself (and my long-suffering carpool) late because i couldn't find her anywhere in my apartment. i remember the panic closing around what was left of my capacity to wheeze. i remember the vague, unmistakable terror that also could have been the frigid air outside my poshy posh building, come to think of it...

at the end of the car ride, i remember murmuring fervent prayers to you, even as my friend kindly handed me a crisp twenty (also prettily coloured, to match those potentially lost), so that i wouldn't starve today. "it's not the MONEY i'm worried about...it's the DL...and the PURSE! oh my heavens, the purse. the delectable new purse." i remember muttering fervent apologies to my patient friend after whining that useless bit of hysteria. yes, G-d. i am an ass. sigh. at least when i'm ungrateful, it occurs in blocks of seconds rather than hours or even years. i thank you for THAT progress, too.

anyway, early this wednesday, i walked to my desk filled with self-loathing and trepidation....and there it was. safe. filled with pretty cash, platinum and one lucky DMV pic. you came through, again, for the three-hundred-thousand, two-hundred and ninety-ninth time. :) like the good fake catholic i am, i promised that i would praise you from on high (read: via blog) if le bag was here on my desk this morning. et voila. my faith has made me "whole".

love,

me

p.s. also, thank you for this hilarious little video clip. i laughed so hard i coughed. then i choked. but it was still funny.

my cheeks hurt from smiling so much...

this is the most adorable story-- the fact that it all goes down in the greatest city EVER don't hurt, neither.  ;)

the other day, i wrote li'l nik a thank you note for sending me a nyt article about Dooce (whom i adore); it was an article i would've surely missed in the hustle and bustle of tending to my worthless lungs/making faces in the mirror/working. 

that's the great thing about sweetie-pie friends, they THINK of these things, they just KNOW, "hey, i'll bet anna/suitablegirl/that bitch would really love this blurb/link/delivery from Dior."  indeed, i would/do/did. ;)

along those lines, tanks sjm.  good lookin' out. i still tickled.  :)