:+: A N N A J O H N ' S D I A R Y :+:

For an erstwhile boo-boo who is leaving on Tuesday

Little one, come back.

Illuminate life again,

And my heart will whole.

Words from your fingers

Create such great ecstasy

Oh, how I’ve missed you.

From nowhere, a spark

Shocks my senses and summons

a tightly clutched hope.

Thank you for this day

For that olive branch inscribed

With the word…“maybe”

august 30

can't sleep.

methinks the starfcuks wench slipped me something that wasn't decaf.  sigh. 

focus on the positive, focus on the positive...uh...i went to the gym.  i left work at 7ish, got to abs class at 7:15 and was back at work by 8pm.  who's a bad ass?  ME, bitches.  a bad ass who can't sleep. :/

i would've worked out yesterday, but i ended up traipsing around town (over two miles!) running errands in these shoes.  FOUR-AND-A-HALF inch heels?  that's a workout, i tell you.  as it turns out, they're not as easy to walk in as i initially assumed...no matter.  i bought my second copy of suitable boy, and that makes my aching calves worth it. :)

Last night's iTunes purchase

p.s.  a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has gone through the trouble of getting a TypeKey so that they can comment here (and a few thousand other places that are run on MovableType/TypePad). 

i appreciate it so much-- the lack of anonymous, nasty insults these past few days has felt like a vacation.

now, whenever i see a new comment from a freshly-minted-TypeKey-holding reader, i go a little swoony inside.  :)  you rock. if you'll kindly excuse me, i'm going to go "rock", too.  my iPod is locked and loaded. ;)

p.p.s.  dear xofis, aka mr. "finally"...TypeKey wasn't AVAILABLE to TypePadders when i last dealt with rampant trollery.  so there. :D

Wiser words were NEVER spoken

If you removed the "the problem with ____ is" or the "SOMEONE needs to ____" from the Indian dinner party, there would BE no conversation.

august 27

though it's completely impossible for me to pull this off on a WORK day, i woke up at 9:30am after less than four hours of sleep.  not good.  i went to the gym at noon, for two hours.  that was me acting like a champion.  i haven't made it to the gym at ALL this week, and i work right next to one.  TODAY's trip to exercise required a metro ride to another neighborhood.  that's dedication, bitches.

i was starving after 40" of arc training and legs, so i made the mistake of falling for some high school dance team's plea to eat at Baja Fresh, since they'd get a cut of the profits as a fundraising strategy.  um, yeah.  i think i've had BF once.  since i don't remember it, that's gen. not a good thing.  Baja Fresh is still not a good thing.  blech.

after lunch, i meandered over to the apple store and bought a wristband for my iPod.  i kept dropping it during my workout, since i had no way of attaching it to me.  annoying.

i came home, took a loooooong shower and passed out.  glamorous saturday, eh?  i thought so.  :p

:+:

so i was trying to do something cute, by making this quiz for SM...and it, of course, blew up in my stupid face.  i spent so much time googling these LJ/AIM-ready quiz sites, yet none of them seemed stable or appropriate for what i was trying to do...then i remembered that amardeep had once used a certain site to create a music quiz.  i searched through SM's comments and found his link; it seemed to be the most solid "test your friends to see if they'll put up with your narcissism" option, and i remember thinking, if it's good enough for the professor, why not?

why not, indeed.

oy.

of COURSE, a gaggle of gloriously retarded asshats and assholes had to fuck and muck everything up.  though i tried to troubleshoot/think of everything in advance of publicizing my little diversion, i didn't know (until it was too late) that there was no way to delete people's nicknames.  and they were choosing some very interesting, exceptionally evil, incredibly insulting nicknames (the best:  ANNA's father is ashamed of her), all of which were visible on the "scoreboard" that everyone sees after taking the damned test.

sigh.

Ain't no future in yo' frontin'

Dear Douchebag,

Allow me to commend you for the admirable amount of effort you exerted in your transparent attempt to impersonate the singular DesiDancer.  You even went as far as to copy her email address and submit it with your purloined handle.  Well-played.  You're still a fake, though.  And a somewhat addled one at that, since DesiDancer and I were born in the same year and her email address contains that figure.  That's why you writing "Anna might be slightly old" makes zero sense.  Thanks for that incriminating bit of evidence, it was quite helpful.

Thanks also for giving me the perfect reason to implement TypeKey for commenting on this blog.  I used to fret that I'd have to password protect AJD, to keep it toxin- and troll-free, now all I have to do is wait for the handful of people I truly care about to get a TypeKey-- and I know they will because:

a) they like me, they really like me
b) they, too, are sick of the bullshit.

A bissel about TypeKey for those who didn't click through the link above:

TypeKey enables you to verify and protect your identity on the web.

Enabling TypeKey...increases accountability for the content that appears on your weblog and stops comment spam cold.

TypeKey is a completely pseudonymous system meaning that no personally identifying information is required to use it. However, if you wish to tell the world a little bit more about yourself, you can put whatever information you choose to share on your TypeKey profile page. A link to that page is displayed next to every comment your make when you authenticate through TypeKey.

To my darling friends, wellwishers and non-trolls- Happy commenting!  Yay for no drama, for not having mean people appropriate your "identities", as has happened several times in the last 20 months. Aren't you excited that this pretty little space will be all ours now? :)

Bloggily yours,

A N N A

august 25

oh. DRAMA.

yeah, pretty much

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How
Do
You
Live
Your
Life?

here you go, my dancing queen

august 21

dear desidancer,

you were so right.  there is an ISP in langley park, md, home of the machete-wielding gang members who've killed and maimed a few dozen people in the last two weeks (or so it seems).

nevertheless, i braved the wild, wooly violence-capital of the DC metro area and was richly rewarded; i found the loveliest, yummiest, most delicate...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
mysore masala dosa at udupi.  ;)

shopping makes you HUNGRY.  my sari was royal, fit for a princess, purchased at the palace, worn to the ball.  i could hug you, it's so wonderful. 

how was the parade???

:+:

i'm egg-sauce-ted.

five states,
four wardrobe changes,
three am and two loads of laundry are done. 

one weary blogger is going to go to bed, slightly down and out b/c though the weekend was a raucous rollercoaster of rollicking rock-star-like partying, two posts i've been working on which i had been determined to post "when i get home" are unfinished. i was crestfallen to find that my uncle's router wasn't routing. meh. my addiction to the interweb is no longer a joke; it's the real deal holyfield (and all you hookers and hos know how i feel).  blogging?  HA.

i hate disappointing people.  i hate disappointing ME more.  i know, i know...the pressure i feel to give you guys content with which to avoid work, it's self-imposed, but still...

:+:

where does the time f^@%!n& go?  it's already MONDAY?  damn.

how do i live without you, i want to know

sigh.  six photos of the only heir i currently have, now on the flog.  oh, how i miss my pudgesicle.

p.s.  this is what the "main page" of fotolog looks like if you randomly get selected to "rep" your continent.  i'm tickled, really.

p.p.s.  do you love the naughtiest Sepia Mutiny title EVER? ;)

how's this for optimism?

i don't really feel like trying to go to NJ the same day that i'm due to be at a wedding in Philly (saturday), so i'm going sari-shopping in VIRGINIA.  afaik, there are no stores that sell brown clothing in DC proper.  wish me luck. i'm not allowing myself to expect much. feh. suddenly (and for the first time in my life) i miss chicago.

p.s.  before some SMARTASS tells me that i should've thought of this in advance, know that i found out about this obligation on SUNDAY. out of the bleedin' blue, innit?

p.p.s.  it's all the most fantastic timing.  i just took all MY saris home to be cleaned, and all i have here is georgette...which is pretty, but not necessarily formalwear.

p.p.p.s.  well, at least it gave me a reason to call my sister-in-law, rupa.  :)

p.p.p.p.s.  OMG, look at the time!  eep!  i'm late! 

Ah-nuh, not Aa-knee

from "oh so long ago", eh?  honestly, when i first skimmed it, i thought it was one of those tricky emails which are a thinly-veiled (heh) attempt to get you to look at porn.  then i didn't see any mention of webcams or pictures and i got very confused. 

i never roomed with a stacy chang.  i think.

From: Stacy Chang <s-----@gmail.com>

To: anna@gmail.com

Date: Aug 16, 2005 10:41 PM

Subject: HI ANN!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to Contacts list | Trash this message | Report phishing | Show original

Hi ann,

 

Its Stacy, u know your roommate from oh so long ago!!

 

How have you been?  I called u a bunch of times but no one picked up... o well.  Anyways, my life is pretty much back to "normal" i guess.  Nothing eventful or anything.  I had to go to a bunch of boring lunches and dinners with our family friends.  This really old lady was like " I love the clubs in taiwan!!"  And then she said we should go together next time.  I was kinda freaked out but i politely declined. haha...

 

when i first got back to my house, i was completely shocked.  It's a complete mess. Theres nothing in my room except like 40 boxes of our stuff.  but then my dad decided to let me in that construction is not beginning until MARCH 2006!!!!!!! yea that made me kinda mad cuz now i haveta basically crawl through a maze before i can get to my bed.  Its really sad but whatever, i'll manage. i feel like i'm back at our messy dorm... haha. 

 

anyways, what have you been up to?  Anything interesting? romantic(hint hint ... jk!)? fun? 

 

i slept like 40 hours out of 48 hours in the first two days i got back.  i felt like such a loser.  Anyways, i miss you tons and i miss taiwan a lot too.  I keep on waking up in the morning at like 3 and thinking i'm still there.  weird huh? 

 

anyways, just wanted to drop you a note.  No biggie.  Have fun and don't party too hard without me. 

 

ok bye annie! email me back!

 

your fav roommate,

 

stacy

 

LA face with an Oakland booty

Turbanhead! :  link

Turbanhead! : real wimmin gots curves!

A N N A : then i must really be a woman ;-)

Turbanhead! :  :-D

:+:

i'm so glad his blog is back.  :)

"dandy work"...i'm borrowing that

time

...for a
little tryst
with maisnon.  :) 

*tryst is kid-tested, manish-approved.

Lunch from Jack's

Lunch from Jack's
Originally uploaded by suitablegirl.

this is what eleven dollars worth of fruit looks like. it was $6/lb and i thought, "oh, this is probably a pound"...

i, sir, am an idiot. i only had nine bucks on me, which means i had to use their private ATM...which means i took it in the ass via double fees: $2 from the machine + $2 from my bank.

wait! that makes this FIFTEEN dollars worth of fruit.

yowza.

To one of the funniest girls I barely know

politicaldesi: there is a micro-tribute

politicaldesi: in my last SM post

politicaldesi: to YOU

Peppermint Mocha: oo, oo

Peppermint Mocha: lemme check

politicaldesi: ;-)

Peppermint Mocha: :-) :-) :-)

Auto response from politicaldesi (away):

Peppermint Mocha, you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration... O:-)

Peppermint Mocha: yay

politicaldesi: you like?

Peppermint Mocha: i lurve

politicaldesi: awww

Peppermint Mocha: thanks, anna banana

politicaldesi: my pleasure, j dizzle

august 11 (the early edition)

everything really does look better in the morning, especially after real sleep.

i coaxed myself into bed at around 12:30 and set the TV sleep timer for 30 minutes. i was trying to recapture a familiar and much-loved routine where i fall asleep about a minute after Conan's monologue finishes.  it almost worked.  my eyes fluttered open at around 1:15 and i felt very disoriented.  mercifully, i sneaked back to the land of nod.  i have a feeling that working out at 7pm helped with that process. 

my eyes opened to sunlight. time? 6:15. i was shocked.  i can count the number of times i've awoken on a "school day" sans screeching alarm on two hands.  one-and-a-half hands, even.  i've been cautious and anxious for the last two hours or so-- have i really slept enough?  it can't possibly be true, but apparently, when you're well-rested you do wake yourself up.  huh. 

i'm a little tired, and i'm yawning like a champion but who knows.  i may start acting like a normal, on-schedule human being one fine day that is sooner than i previously (yesterday) thought.

:+:

thanks for all the love.  thank you, you, you, you two and you too and of course, you.  i'm always in awe of how the interweb delivers kindness so swiftly and surely.  when i regularly mutter "better living through technology", i mean it.

I wear me out.

I’m okay.
(typed as my chemical romance's retort to that blares in my head)

Everything is at least neutral, if not this side of good. I know I’m one of the lucky ones.

Still.

I need to bury my face in the neck of someone I love.

I want to be sightless for a few blessed minutes as my eyelids are warmed by skin. 

I wish that an emotional seamstress were available for tasks like this, to repair my frayed edges. 

This is why girls stay in lame relationships, for fragile situations just like this, when you really need someone to stroke your hair and murmur soothing consonants and vowels near your left ear. All sins can be overlooked when you are in the vulnerable place where you just need a hug. The idea of losing that “sure thing” causes more of my girlfriends to stay with mediocre boyfriends than anything else. Coulda woulda shoulda but when your day has been shit-tay, knowing that there is someone who’ll hold you later feels like a super power.

reunion with maisnon...live (updated)

maisnon and i LOVE chai- the blogger!
"isn't she pretty?" 
"who spotted whom first?"
"me too!"
"her pictures do NOT do her justice."
"not at ALL!  she's always making a face, or covering it, or..."
"in short, she posts the pics the rest of us don't dare to."
"exactly"
"i now love her more."
"me too."

"wait, is it wine before liquor?"
and then i got the waiter "in trouble" w/the eavesdroppy next table b/c he got interrogated for his answer to my query.  poor hot thing.

maisnon:  "i'll have the chai blended thing..."  she's simple like that.  no wonder i lurve her.

"i'll have...the rioja!"
"excellent choice.  it's my favourite."

jazz quartet:  "this is going out to CRYSTAL"  and maisnon goes, "yayyy", so obviously i do, too  (and it's "happy birthday" that is going)

...LIVE jazz!

"oh, i love it here!"

who am i going to come here with, without her?

"oh, i wish you had been at BlogHer...not for any other reason than...the tremendously powerful current of female energy i felt.  it's something i experience in terms of every few YEARS, not weeks or months."

"my FIRST rioja!" and she smiles.

funniest. text. message. EVER.

with regards to my current bout of insomnia,
from one of my dearest, most beloved friends
who is obviously monitoring either his GMail
or his blog aggregator and thus is noticing
that i'm a busy little possum: 

GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF SINGH!

i'm going, i'm going! :D

Only for you, Samantha of 1989. Only for YOU. (updated)

1. What is your full name?  Anna John.

2. What color pants are you wearing? Pretty khakis.  The kind SJP was whoring herself out for. :D

3. What are you listening to right now?   Family guy.

4. What's the last thing you ate?   Mom's Kerala-riffic spice cake.

5. Do you wish on stars?   Yes.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?  The lamely-retired-in-99 Indian Red.

7. How is the weather right now?   Monsoon-like.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone?   My (God)Baby Momma.

9. Do you like the person who sent you this?  I adore Sam-- I've known her since Sophomore year Geology.

10. How old are you today?   30.

11. Favorite drink?   Johnny Walker GOLD and glass-bottled-Coke.

12. Favorite sport?   Footie.  Indoor.

13. Hair color?   Black...for now. 

FINALLY! fotos from BlogHer for you flog-philes

behold!  my gold-stiletto-clad feet!  this was from the "naked" panel at BlogHer; so many people wanted to get near Dooce, it was standing room only.  though we rushed for the room the session was in b/c we feared precisely this outcome, we were foiled by groupies who were faster. only slightly daunted, chai (she was right next to me) and i headed for the front and sat on the floor, each of us with an iBook in our lap.

poor chai.  some utter retards said some not-nice things about my girl on heather's flickr photostream, on a picture that was taken moments after the one above.  little did they know that maisnon and i have supersonic hearing and we will cut anyone who's mean to our friends. 

anyway, the point is, a few pictures from BlogHer are up on le flog...  :)  eventually i'll put up an entire BlogHerCon album on flickr.  now, brown cows, i need to go to BED.

i have balls the size of epcot, bitches

;)

From: sg <suitablegirl@gmail.com>

To: tony p <p-------@yahoo.com>

Date: Aug 8, 2005 12:21 AM

Subject: Re: whats up

Reply |  Reply to all |  Forward  |  Print  |  Add sender to Contacts list  |  Trash this message  |  Report phishing  |  Show original

Tony,

Thank you so much for your interest, it's quite kind of you to think of me.  Which website are you referring to, pacifically?  As for what I do, I'm a blogger, which is a lot like being a writer. 

I spoke at the 2002 Fokana conference about political activism and our youth.  You are welcome to contact Robin P------------, the woman who coordinated my appearance.  Most recently, I had the privilege of discussing Globalization at the first BlogHer convention, ever, last week.  As you can read, I'm very comfortable with being a panelist or guest speaker.  Since I won "Best India Blog", perhaps I could facilitate a session about blogging?  Again, I'm not quite sure what you're looking for, it's difficult to discern from your email.

As for talents, I have many, some of which aren't printable, but I'll start off by relating that I'm gifted at baton twirling whilst singing the Star Spangled Banner...but that's only a fraction of what I can do.  Get back to me with specifics regarding what you're looking for and we'll talk.

Sincerely,

Anna

- Hide quoted text -

On 8/6/05, tony p <p-------@yahoo.com > wrote:

whats ur website about or what do u do?..
i represent the next FOKANA convnetion
iwanted to see if u had any talents?

have at it, minnows

...since you were all so very helpful when i needed to write this for BlogHerCon.

alas, alack, your capable assistance only means i'll turn to you again and again. now, brown cow, how do YOU think i should respond, s'il vous plait?

:+:

From: tony <p-------@yahoo.com>

To: suitablegirl@gmail.com

Date: Aug 6, 2005 10:28 PM

Subject: whats up

Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to Contacts list |
Trash this message | Report phishing | Show original

   whats ur website about or what do u
   do?..i represent the next FOKANA convnetion
   iwanted to see if u had any talents?

withdrawn weaponry? i'll take it!

thanks, li'l nik.

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

your envy tastes tangy

The tickets you have purchased are:
----------------------------

----------------------------
M.I.A.
9:30 Club
Washington, DC
USA
Wednesday ,  9/21/05 , 7:30PM
GENADM - NO SEATS, TABLES, CHAIRS

Price
$20.00
$20.00

Total Convenience Fee for 2 seats $9.00
Price for 2 seats $49.00
----------------------------------------------------------
Subtotal : $49.00
Handling : $3.25
Total    : $52.25

Thank you,

The 9:30 Club

but...I'm addicted to Love

From: Andres <-----------@gmail.com>

To:   suitablegirl@gmail.com

Date: Aug 4, 2005 12:40 AM

Subject: Dating site for naughty people

Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to Contacts list | Trash this message | Report phishing | Show original

  There is this free date site filled with tons of sex-addicts.

  No flowers, no gifts, just meet up for action :)  Thought you'd
  be especially interested, Suitablegirl.

hi "ho", it's off to exile i go

dearest mg,

i wished i could've spoken to you last night-- someone very small and verrrry cute did not want to:

a) go to sleep
b) leave

so it took a bit longer than the ten minutes i promised to get back to you. sorry. normally, i'd be crushed at the lack of "ho"-time, but i was too busy swooning over the fact that when i carried my little pudgesicle outside and strapped him in his car seat, he fixed those anime-ready eyes on me and said, "i lubb oo!" with such conviction, i almost fainted.

sorry, i need a moment.

ahhhh, that kid is perfection.

anyway, i'm sorry to read that your day wasn't flawless. that's no good. you want to know about "my agenda" for the day? well, today i have to freak out slightly as i run around unhappily, preparing and packing for the part i hate, leaving home. i have to box all the food mom selflessly sacrificed sleep to make, the goodies she bought me at costco (pista biscotti? TIGI hair crap?? a bright pink lint remover b/c she was disgusted at my beloved black pixies shirt's magnetic attraction to white fuzz???) and whatever else i've managed to discover/purchase/accumulate here in under a week. and i STILL haven't gone to ULTA yet. oy.