A clarification...

*sigh* Ok, apparently my skills of articulation have failed me. Either that or I've picked the wrong hill to die on here.

Orgasms. Wow, sticky stuff *grin* way stickier than I had either intended it to be or that I had ever anticipated.

I decided that a blog post was in order on this one simply to state, once and for all, what the hell I'm thinking and to clear up any misconceptions. First, I'll head on into the G-spot and perhaps this morning, with a cup of coffee in hand and the sleep still in my eyes, I will be able to articulate what I've been trying to say all along.

It appears that I have managed to confuse alot of people so I'd like to set the record straight.

I have never said that a woman cannot orgasm through p-v intercourse.

I have never said that a woman cannot enjoy touching on lots of different areas of her body.

I have never said that an orgasm cannot be brought about mentally. Or that the brain and emotion plays no part in orgasm.

I have never told a woman that she is not having an orgasm.

I have never advocated that the vagina be entirely removed from the equation.

I have never said that we stop p-v intercourse.

I have never said that the only place on a woman's body that is acceptable to touch is the clitoris.

I have never said that there was no pleasure in P-V intercourse, even if you're not orgasming during it.

I have never said that if you are one of the women who do orgasm through p-v penetration that you are somehow a freak. I have, consistently, given a thumbs up to women who orgasm through p-v intercourse.

What I have said, to men, is that it is far more likely that she is faking it than having a 'G-spot' orgasm. I will stand by this until 90% of women and 90% of men say that a woman is orgasaming through p-v intercourse.

What I have said is that the only place one can find the same nerve endings that are found in the penis is in the clitoris.

What I have said is that orgasms that are triggered through anal, or vaginal penetration, as well as from touching any given part of the body are most likely triggered mentally and not through any sort of sexual nerve endings that are found in the penis or clitoris.

What I have said is that I'd like to see more attention being given to the clitoris considering that at least 75% of women are orgasming through clitoral stimulation and not p-v intercourse.

What I have said is that the 'G-spot' orgasm has put many women into positions of having to fake orgasms.

What I have said is that there is an inordinate amount of pressure for women to orgasm vaginally in proportion to the women who actually do have orgasm through p-v penetration.

What I have said is that the "G-spot" is clinically called the 'Urethral Sponge'

What I have said is that the nerve endings found in the 'G-spot' do not serve the same function as the nerve endings found in the clitoris. They are not the same nerve endings.


What I intended to say was that women who are not orgasming through p-v intercourse need not feel ashamed or defunct.

What I intended to say is that women who orgasm with p-v intercourse are just as great as women who don't.

What I intended to say is that men would do well to be concerned if their partners appear to be having 10 orgasms with penetrative sex.

What I intended to say is that the clitoris has been overlooked by many men in favor of the 'G-spot'.

What I intended to say is that many women have been innundated with the 'porn star' version of orgasm and that I would like to see it end.

What I intended to say is that, while there is a huge mental component to orgasm, that there is one place on the female body (just as there is 1 place in the male body) that has those specific nerve endings, the penis and the clitoris.

What I intended to say is that, from my perspective, it appears that the common knowledge is that we must touch the penis to stimulate orgasm in men.

I also intended to say that it is odd to me that in a society in which women are given their value through sex that there appears to be no such guidelines for women.

With that in mind I also intended to say that I believe that the aforementioned phenomenon has everything to do with the Patriarchal underpinnings evident within this society which state that a woman is or should be open to everything a man wants and she should enjoy it.

I have not intended for any woman to hear the discussions in the comments section where I was dealing with men and determine that I was also disregarding their orgasms.

I have not intended for women to think that I am talking to them, specifically, when I tell a man that it is more likely that his partner is faking with p-v penetration.

I have not intended for anyone to come away from this discussion thinking that I want women to stop enjoying touching over any part of their bodies except for the clitoris.

It appears that I have confused some people on this discussion.

Quite frankly, as most of you know, I am not a big believer in the G-spot orgasm. I AM a big believer in orgasm through coitus. Orgasm can certainly be attained for some women when they are having traditional p-v sex. I've managed it myself on occasion. However, I realize that I was in a statistical minority, as in, 15-26 percent of the population does so with any regularity. What I'm attempting to point out is that while only 15-26% of women can really have them, over 90% of the men surveyed say that their women are having them. The numbers in this area do no match.

Why do I have such a vested interest in other women’s orgasms? Because the numbers don't jive and I'm a huge number hound. When the statistics are telling me over 90% of men say that their partners are orgasming with p-v penetration, yet, only 15-26% of women are saying that they are...well, there's a discrepancy there that I'm having a hard time overlooking. It means that there's a lot of faking going on out there, that there's a lot of women acting like they're enjoying sex for the sake of their partners or for one of many other reasons.

The entire point of reviving that old article was simply to show those women that they're normal. To show them that Doctors and Scientists are also telling them that they're normal. To show them that if they can't achieve vaginal orgasm then they're perfectly ok to use other methods to get them there.

The post was not intended to alienate any given woman who can orgasm through P-V intercourse. It is extremely difficult to toe that line. To simultaneously tell women that they are normal while not making other people feel as though they're horrible freaks. Quite frankly I haven't found the formula yet.

If a woman, any woman is having orgasm with P-V intercourse then I'm happy for them. When a woman tells me that they are, indeed, having an orgasm during p-v coitus I take it as a given. However, you're right when you infer that I don't believe a man right off the bat, I am suspicious and there is a very good reason for this. It's the men (90%) of them, who are saying that their partners are orgasming with P-V intercourse, and even with P-A intercourse and what I want them to understand is that they will never know if their partners are faking it. Women who are faking it have so much wrapped up into it that they will rarely come forward and say, "You know baby, I've been faking it for 5 years and now I'd like to really start having an orgasm when we get frisky".

It's a delicate affair to try to guide men towards pleasing their women sexually, while simultaneously trying to encourage women to take their sexuality in their own hands, while simultaneously trying to keep women who don't have any of those problems from feeling left out. And it appears that I am incapable of doing all these things simultaneously.

Women are faking it, they're faking it in rather large numbers (according to the most recent statistics I can find on it) and the entire point of focusing on the female orgasm is to show men that it's likely that their woman is faking. In doing so, I'm hoping that some woman out there might actually get the orgasm they're searching for. I'm not saying that 100% of them are faking it; I'm not really saying anything other than what the stats tell me which is that most of them are. I'm simply saying that 90% of men are saying their women are orgasming while only 26% of women are saying they are.

I don't think that I've told a woman who has spoken to me that she, herself, is faking an orgasm. To be honest, I wouldn't dream of being that pompous. With that in mind, I have told men, who tell me that their partners are not faking it, that the statistics show that they very well could be. I have told men that it's more likely that their partners are faking it than that they are orgamsing to anal or P-V penetration. Again, the reason I'm telling them this is because the numbers are showing that a bunch of them are faking.

The entire point of it is to maybe give a guy a second thought when his wife screams in porn star style and to maybe, in some small way, help to close the gap in those numbers and get people actually talking to one another. We’ve already shown that women aren’t telling, the numbers state that quite clearly. The entire point of talking to men is that I believe that men WANT their women to orgasm. I believe that most men would like to be truly ‘good’ in bed, that they honest to god really *do* want their partners to reach orgasm. The women have too much invested to actually stop faking it, but the men, hell, they have everything to gain and really not much to lose if they hear what I’m saying and begin to concentrate on the tried and true method of orgasm.

When I speak of faking orgasms, I’m speaking to the men. I’m trying to get them to have a second look at it and to really think about whether their partner is orgasming, or at least, to talk about it with their partners because, quite frankly, many of these women are faking because they’re afraid to tell. I put much of the responsibility on the men because I believe that they have far less to lose and so much more to gain if they hear me.

I understand what you're saying. It's always a very hard line to walk. Trying to let women know that they're ok, trying to touch something within them invariably sets me up to always be leaving someone out of the loop. As a woman, it's much easier for me to talk about my experiences than to talk about experiences I know nothing about.

~BB

BTW, this was edited from the earlier post, I decided that it should probably be two posts instead of one because one part of the previous post didn't exactly fit in with the first part of this post. Another one will be coming that deals with the second half of this post and will hopefully work to clarify some of the other things I'm thinking. Also, I'm going to be putting in another update on the divorce, I had a very eye opening experience yesterday at the attorneys office *sigh*

So yeah, to anyone who saw this post in it's original entirety rest assured that the remainder hasn't dissapeared forever, I'll have it up in a bit.