I Blame The Patriarchy

Because if you’re smart, and you’re a woman, you’d better be fucking hot. And if you’re really smart you should totally consider posing nude for Maxim. Or else you’ll burn in the icy fires of humorless women’s studies dyke purgatory, nobody will compare you to Anna Kournikova, and you’ll die alone without any assholes smegging […]

One Mexican border town’s Hepatitis A export factory
My tragically unfulfilled yearning for tacos has caused my giant but somewhat chemically altered brain to fixate on the cradle of the world’s finest culinary creation. By which I mean Mexico.
Most Americans have never heard of Mexico.You might recognize it as that area just to the south of […]

Science Daily reports on a treatment for heart failure called CRT, an implant that enhances "quality of life" for patients with this disease. That it is overwhelmingly offered exclusively to old men can come as no surprise, for nobody who loves patriarchy-and who loves it more than the medical establishment?- gives a fig for a […]

Just some of the repellent news spilling out of my Fuck The Patriarchy inbox this morning:
Melbourne parents are fattening up their four-year-old boys in order to give them an advantage in schoolyard rumbles. 4-year-old girls, however, are still required to be miniscule, in preparation for a lifetime of shrinking invisibility.
Meanwhile, in India it’s Child Brides! […]

Mei’s sexalicious head-chandelier makes these dudes love her to death
My delightful house-guest Miss Thing Stingray, though she cannot have failed to notice that I have been a bit under the weather recently what with the cancer and the chemo and the more or less incessant nausea and everything, nevertheless turned upon me yesterday a gaze […]

The horror that is The City of Dreams
My pal Stingray is the only one of my old St. Louis posse to have finally come to her senses and decided to move to Austin. She’s staying here at the Twisty Bungalow until she finds an apartment.
Apartment hunting has caused Stingray no small anguish, for Austin, […]

To beautify my kitchen, I bought a new iMac. I was pleased to discover that it comes with a cheap little built-in camera that takes weird pictures of anyone dumb enough, such as bald-headed spinster aunts, to sit in front of it.
Meanwhile, apologies to regular readers of I Blame The Patriarchy who have noticed a […]

Cabela’s, the World’s Foremost Outfitter of Grizzly-Men, apparently unaware that mammal carcasses are not worn this season, offers, I kid you not, this extraordinary millinery in their Christmas catalog. The "hat," which consists of an entire dead coyote, is "the perfect gift for rendezvous black-powder re-enactment enthusiasts."
Whatever the heck that is.

It had been 12 days since I last delectated myself with a taco of any species. Unable to stand it another moment, I crammed myself full of puke-ye-not pills and did hie unto Vivo, whereupon I pushed this exquisite specimen, the Puffy Beef Taco, into the gaping Twisty maw. The gastrointestinal price was high, but […]

t’s 2005. Do you know where your feminists are?
They’re sure as shit not at St. Mary’s College in Indiana, sister school of Notre Dame. There appears to be but inchoate appreciation for feminist theory or analysis in this institution of higher learning, not to mention an hysterical fear of female body hair, and a unusual […]